My Sinister World

"The is reality, this is life, this is - the caos factor." -Sinister85

14 October, 2006

My dear family...

Today i awoke to added stress to a stressful life.. apparently my cousin showed my uncle wally that i had a picture of my cat and a caption about how he hurt him. anyway i recieved this letter:

This is from my cousin ashley:

Date: Oct 14 2006 12:04 PM
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Subject: hmmmmmm
Body:

well, just wanted to let you know that my mom saw the pic of "auggie" and i got a nice lil phone call from her. she is not happy and neither will my dad when she shows him. they are tired of this all happening. this is NOT about my dad. my dad is not the animal abuser you think he is. just because he doesnt like you doesnt mean that he is going to hurt your animals. its not their fault he doesnt like you. they are going to talk to grandfather about this i guess. i doubt anything will get taken care of. personally im pretty pissed about the whole thing. im trying not to talk about it too much because i know that if i say whats on my mind there will be alot more shit started. if you really want to know what is pissing me off just ask....i have no problem telling you what it is. but i wont go into great detail b/c it wont be good. im actually getting really tired of my dad getting blamed for alot of shit! my dad goes to grandfathers to spend time with him and see how he is doing. but everytime he goes there its like he gets blamed for something that had nothing to do with him. other then that.......i really wish that everyone would stop bitching about stupid shit. seriously. its like every other day i hear something that went on when my dad went over there. just please to god stop it!



*MY REPLY WAS:*


Date: Oct 14 2006 7:17 PM
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Subject:Congrads on starting more drama...
Body:

A NOTE before i begin: Congrads on starting more drama, in your letter you act so high and mighty.. Yet here you are, starting more.. So please, oh please god, just stop it? PLEASE!

Ashley,

I'm glad you take your parents side and all. but you seriously don't even know.. I sit here day in and day out and take care of grandfather.. do you? what exactly do you do again? there's something to focus your energy on.. You don't come over here and clean up pee off of the floor, and cook dinner for someone whom is drunk, and asks you to repeat things 20 times, just so he can forget 2 minutes later. You don't do the yard work, you don't take him places, because he cant drive, but wont admit it. You don't have to explain bills, and letters to him. Relay answering machine messages. You don't even come by to say hello. Which in turn really hurts his feelings. What is the hardest part of taking care of him. Is watching him slowly fail. Its really hard to sit day in and day out and watch. But then, i suppose you wouldn't understand that. After All, all he really remembers you as, is you came by, DAYS after Christmas, and wanted your gifts, which was money. He felt that you didn't even care about you. I guess because You don't ever come around anyone in the family. And how dare you act like you care about your mom and dad. Don't forget we were friends I saw how you treated and continue to treat you parents. I feel so bad for your mom... She's such a sweet person, that really cares about you. And would love to just spend some time with you. She used to come over here and we'd talk about what you were doing, and how you were. And she was so upset that she never got to see you, didn't know what was going on in your life. And the things she heard from others about you, wow that really, really hurt her... She loves you, but you don't show her that maybe somewhere in your Steve obsessed, and (OR) self obsessed world, you may love her, and show her that! And your dad, wow I think maybe he needs help. I'm not saying that to be mean in any way. But the things he does, it kinda scares me a bit. Like okay there is a murder, going unsolved, that happened just right here next to me. And he comes over and BREAKS my spot light, and steals the bulb. Who does that? and then there was the bloody dental floss that he left on the toilet paper roll. He of course figured I would be the next one to use it, but I don't use the downstairs bathroom. He left a pubic hair on grandfathers tooth brush once, I assume he didn't know which was mine... And don't let him say he didn't... Because guess what, who else was here? both times I checked and your mom was not here. He doesn't seem to do bad things when she is here. Maybe then because he can not deny it, I don't really know either way. But I have a camera set up on the front porch and one in the yard. And recently I had to set one up, upstairs. So just that you know, I do in fact have proof that he hurt auggie, and I know that he stole and did god only knows what, with my two kittens. I'm not mad, I'm hurt, and I don't hate him. Hate is a horrible word, and you all should feel pretty bad for saying you hated me, and that they hated me. If I died tomorrow I think you would in fact feel bad. I do not hate anyone!! I never did. What I do in fact hate, is the way this family is acting. Maybe you guys should HATE that! And even when your dad came here right before x-mas and tried to make me feel like crap. Sure I hated what he said, but I never hated him. I assume you heard all about that. Told me I was a bastard child, and did I know my father. and apparently I'm some kind of slut and I'm stealing from grandfather. I have never stolen anything from grandfather ever! what he gives me is because he realized all that I do for him. Maybe others should realize some of that too.. but I suppose that would be to difficult. Its easier to hurt someone's feelings, and say we hate them. Right? And if I'm so horrible, why is it no one else is willing to set aside their life, their dreams their hopes to help him??? Now thats an important question.. And when your dad comes over, it may be to see him, but if thats the hole reason and he is so into helping, and befriending grandfather, why is it that I always have something messed up, that I have to take care or clean up? Last time it was the spot light, the week before the cats.. every time its something. He comes up stairs and throws my stuff around in the bathroom, and lord only knows all the other stuff he does. I don't know why we have to act like little children about all this. Like I have to leave before he comes. Well guess what I live here, I take care of grandfather NO ONE ELSE BUT ME AND MY MOTHER.. Your dad comes by twice a week for an hour or two. Gets grandpa turned all around and gets him drunk.. Then you know what he does? LEAVES! Your dad doesn't help with yard work or house work. He had to take the trash up once and got mad and just threw it by the mailbox. I have to do everything, and its his own dad, But he's he hero here... He should be glad, and be thankful, that he DOESNT have to do any of this. Because mentally and emotional he couldnt take it. Neither could you, that letter proved just how immature and outrageous acting all of you really are. I don't regret one thing i've done. Or said or even typed! Ashley we used to be best friends and were very close. Remember we used to call each other at the same time and then the line would be busy? heh we had fun. And now your going to get mad because your dad is mad? This family is so degenerate, its horrible. I should feel bad about what i've done? I should be hated, because your dad came over and yelled at me and said horribly mean things to me? But I guess in some alternate universe that's possible, but guess what, this isn't that universe. So really anymore I don't care.. If you, your mom, and your dad want to hate me, fine go right ahead. There's nothing I can do about that, except wait for you all to realize that, you only get one life.. And if you live it hating people, than thats on you. You've wasted your hole life being negative, there's always going to be something to make you mad. But when you turn on your own family, maybe then you will realize that its not others, it just may be your self? just something to think about. I was really hurt by your letter, just so you know. So I guess that means you got your way. But then you never had trouble there did you? And what's this, you doubt anything will get taken care of. Do you me a favor and don't talk to me like your above me. You live in a house with your boyfriend, you don't have a job, you are wasting you life. You don't see, nor help the family in their time of need. Heck you missed your own grandmothers funeral.. Why? you said you had to work, but your mom said otherwise. We used to be very close to grandmother, and I'm sure that mad grandfather pretty upset. And who really minds if your pissed, you don't even act like part of the family, so why would anyone care? if you don't want to act like family, then get treated like your not. simple, easy, and less stress... And your dad gets blamed, because whether he says it or not, HE DOES IT... there's a clue, use it! And please, oh please, don't do me any favors.. If you have something to say.. SAY IT! I'm not scared... What are you going to do? hurt my feelings? well you have all already done that, now haven't you? but who cares about me, right? I'm just worthless trash.. all I do is steal and act horrible towards my family.. Right? isn't that what everyone wants to say about me? go ahead, I'm not scared.. Maybe if you come over some time, you can see the reality of all of this. Your not above it dear, your below it. Your not even in this, I don't where you get off writing me such a horrible thing. my goodness I wrote so much and yet, I still feel like there are so many more things I'd like to include. But I'll stop, consider THAT a REAL favor. Oh and thanks for your concern in this matter though.. nice to know you may actually think about the family. I'm also supposed to add: After Demanding to read your letter to me, grandfather was quite upset about your actions, and choice of words. He feels that, that was "Very dirty, and rude. He also feels that you are trying to act above anything you will ever achieve. He wanted to know why you are trying to cause problems in the family?" He said to relay to you that "Your no savor! You were horrible to your parents, the way you treated them. All the time, energy and money they put in to you. And every time you all went some where you acted like a complete little snot to them. And everyone in Kansas city saw, and he was embarrassed. So how can you all of a sudden be such a savor? and act like your above all this?" his words, none of them are mine. Maybe next time you'll choose to leave others deputes alone, and worry about yourself?

Jessica

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