Looking for mister right

I was thinking yesterday, about myself, about my friends, about life in general. Have you ever thought about where your going to be in a few years? Who you'll be with, where you'll be working? what friends you will still be talking to, where you will live. Have you ever thought, maybe a choice you made a few years ago, might just be effecting you? Like okay lets say you met this person years ago, and you've just decided that you would really like to be with them. Maybe its because your alone, maybe its because their the better choice, and some where inside, you've always known that. I was thinking about my ex today, well all week really. He has hurt me so bad, that im spin around in circles trying to figure out which way is up. I want to be with someone that will treat me like an equal, not a maid. I'm sick of being everyones nigger, and yes i said nigger, but im not talking about black people. I'm talking about slaves, they come in all colors. I work for my grandfather, and i dont need to go home and be treated worse, and be made to feel like a slave, and be told that i should feel guilty for helping him. i want to be with someone that will show me affection, make me feel special. damn its making me cry just thinking about it. And i want to have sex, i mean like real sex, i dont want to have to only want sex when the other person does. I want to have sex when i want it too! i want to be treated like im special, just for once, like someone actually gives a damn about what happens to me. And when i get home i want them to say, "Hey baby! i'm so glad your back, how was your day? I'm so happy to see you.." or at least some thing like that. I want to feel pretty for once, instead of being told how fat, ugly, and stupid i'm. Heh, i came home everyday, and i was so excited to see him, i mean everytime i was headed home, i'd hurry. I had those butterflies, you get when you love someone and your so excited that your going to see them. and then i'd get there and have to fight, he always told me that i was out with some guy. But then later he would contradict himself and say that no one would want me. I never cheated, on anyone. I dont think its right. Although sometimes i would think about getting out of their, but i loved him so much, that it hurt for him to be so cruel. I dont know the point to my story, i guess just saying that i wanted someone who actually gave a crap, not someone who wants to get laid. i cant take it at this point in my life. Most of all i really just want someone to confide in...