Pain meds, Mountain dew, muh dog, a cig, and Third eye blind...

What kind of title is that? What could those items possibly have to do with eachother? Its a good question it really is, if i hadn't writen it, i'd be wondering the same thing you are. But i'm going to explain why the title is, what it is. See today i thought i lost all those things, but i found them. And Life was so awesome, because i wassnt in pain, via the pain meds. I didnt have cotton mouth, via my favorite soda, mountain dew. I found my dog tooter, next door, after freaking out that i lost him. He and took a ride in the car, while i smoked a cigarette, and listened to "I want you" By third eye blind, well that and "Deep inside of you" and "Motorcycle Drive by" all of which in the end make me think of one thing. Or one person, and then i felt utterly alone. Until tooter breathed in my face (YUCK) and snaped me out of it. He is an awesome dog, i find myself wanted to sit with him all the time. Although he's been digging holes all over the yard, so that was pissing me off. And the fact that he got my neighbors mad, pissed me off. But shit happens, and you've got to learn to roll with it. Which im finally beginning to grasp, pretty sad huh? anyway so thats whats up today... Wishing i could be out of town, having fun, yet still having fun here whilest i think about it... Anyway im tired, its been a LONG day... Peace ~Jess~


"People always take a step away from what is true, thats why i like you, around. I want you..oh... do you do you do you do? your making me want you..." -I want you

your daddy left you with no love, now you touch everything with a penalty glove." -Loosing a hole year.

"I would change myself if i could, i would walk with my people if i could find em' and i'd say that im sorry to you, sorry to you. and i dont want to call you, cuz i dont wanna crush you, but i feel like crushing you" -Deep inside of you

There some of my favorite quotes from Third eye blind, and their titles. I didnt get to put motorcycle driveby on, because i couldnt remember what i was going to say... lol peace yo!

Tooter!

Today has been a wonderful day, i got something i've been wanting... here i'll show you a picture! That's my new doggy! He is a golden retriever, he has papers. His name is tooter, he is a little over a year old. I got him from sarah's new in laws. I've known John longer than sarah, and yesterday was the first time i'd ever met his parents. They know my hole family, John was bestfriends with my cousin Jason for years upon years. So that's why today is a great day, because i finally got a dog. I've been wanting a dog, for about 4 years now. Maybe a little longer. But My mom wouldnt let me have them at first, and then when i lived with mark, he wouldnt let me. My grandfather doesnt know we even have a dog yet, he will find out tomorrow morning. See tonight he had shrine, so i took him there around 5:45, he was there until 8:46. But as soon as i droped him off, i called sarah to meet me at the house. (Having already seen and approved the dog yesterday) so i get back here, get cleaned up and put on old clothes he couldnt ruin, because it rained today, and last night. we had trouble getting him in the truck, big john finally had to pick him up and put him in the back. so then we brought him home, and we all played with him, got really dirty. Then sarah left, and we tied him to a tree, and went to the store to get stuff for him. Course my grandpa called as soon as we were walking out of the store, bitching because we werent there yet, because my mom is so dang slow!! anyway so we get him, and get home. and its dark, he didnt even see the dog, it was like 4 feet from him... oh well, he'll find out in the morning. Until then, the dog is set up next the the house so i can see him from my porch upstairs, and i could hear him if someone came up. Thats the main reason i wanted a dog, was protection. Because we live out simi in the country, large yard, thats very dark at night. I'm also going to include the pictures of sarah's wedding, just because i didnt get them on the other day. And all of a sudden now the computer wants to upload pix, where as the other day it said it did, but it didnt. so that will be below.. Other than that i dont have much to say about today, or yesterday. Well one thing, Has anyone seen Jon? he's just disapeared, he apparently is mad at me about the other day. I tried calling once or twice, but then its his house phone. I never use my house phone, only my cell. Course i've got 2 numbers for his cell, and i dont know which one is which... So thats it, here's the pic, i'll also update the other blog.. peace.... -Jess (maybe not the extra pix, they dont seem to want to upload again..)

Researching Helens Ring..

I've been searching, for a replacement for aunt Helens ring. Its very beautiful, and i've loved it since i was little. And now its mine, and i fear everyday that im going to be the one that's going to ruin it. Its 4th generation. Here's the story: Aunt Helen, my grandmothers aunt, her mothers sister. Died very young, which then was common. So my great grandmother go the ring, but only the engagement ring. The wedding ring i believe she was buried in. It was given to my great grandmother because she only had a plain wedding band, because her husband was a Baptist minister. They weren't exactly rich, but they had the love of god in their home. So when my great grandmother died it too was on her hand, thats two people whom have died in it so far. It was given to my grandmother, whom almost died in it. She wore it until the very last week, when it was taken off of her hand, and placed on mine. Although i'm not married, i placed it on my ring finger, because that is where it belongs. My mother got skipped. Although she did wear it for a couple days, she didnt die in it. But i most certainly will, you can bet on that. I'll include a picture of the ring, although because its small its hard to get a clear picture of it. Its White gold, with one large Diamond. Its from 30's-40's. Its been appraised at over 2 grand, because of the Diamond, and the white gold. So i decided before i broke it, i would like to find one, similar. The only difference i wanted was, where the filigree is, i wanted there to be a couple diamonds, and i would like to have a wedding band to go with it. So i've been searching and searching, and i finally found EXACTLY what i was looking for. Its 55 with shipping, on ebay. Its got 3 days and 13 hours left. I plan to buy it, but i have to wait until the exact moment to strike. Because there are 2 bids on it, and i dont know, and never find one like it again. I'll also include a picture of it (If i can ever get them to upload, i've been having some trouble with that). what their max bid is. I'm scared i'll loose this ring, And never be able to find another like it. I guess the pictures wont uplo9ad, i'll figure something out and get back to you. -Jess

Rhyme time

I was eating dinner the other day, when suddenly my grandfather begins asking me questions about Jon. He seems to think Jon is Don, which i wasn't going to correct him, because he wouldn't remember anyway. I'll tell him some other day, during the day, before winkie-poo time. so when my grandfather leaves the table i ask, why does he think Jon is Don? and this is the response i got "Because all your boyfriends names rhyme! Don, Jon, John, Shawn" i was like "well where does mark fit in then?" and they said "He doesn't, that's why you left 'em!" so hah, i never realized apparently i have a think for don's Shawn's and Jon/john's... I also happened to notice, they all work on cars... Seth does too... mmm is there anything hotter than a mechanic? comin home smellin' like earl, all black handed, in black face.. (hah an attempt at a not so funny joke) Well i don't think their is, i guess i also like em' dark hair' d, dark eye' d, and smart mouthed.. Anyway so speaking of Jon, i didn't go to Chicago. I'm still in Springfield, which is okay. its probably better. I was telling Donnie today, this is why i don't like to believe in things. Because sure as i begin to believe it'll happen, it stops dead in its tracks. Just know that i do not blame anyone, i know its my bad luck, I'm not mad at anyone. And I'm sooo not trying for a guilt trip, just an attempt at finding humor, through sorrow. I really wanted to go out with him this weekend, i think we could have had more fun than I've had in years. (including the previous time he was here). My problem is, i fall in way too easy, i just let myself get sucked in. I'm so stupid, i never learn from my own mistakes. So anyway Don purposed, for the ump-teenth time today. Marriage to me, is scary. marriage is all about trust, love, and the ultimate friendship. I cant even decide myself on a color for my text. How could i possibly get married? Answer me that? Another thing is, he wants me to live in Kansas city. That's far away, from my family, my friends, my home. Chicago, or St.Louis that's one thing, but Kansas is FAR! Love isn't an issue for me anymore, i could walk up to anyone and tell them i love you. As a matter of fact, i think this week i will tell everyone i love, that i love them. Friends, Family, and love. I want them all to know that, just so its a fact, not a question. So there, i posted... Happy?? Love -Jess P.S. My Brother Chris, asked that i do my "My Space" page, so i did, check it out i guess. it looks crappy conpaired to all my friend's pages... but oh well least i did it! http://www.myspace.com/kitcat85